Four years ago today...

...I was sitting in a meeting room at a hotel in Changsha, China waiting to be given my baby girl. My memories of that day are a blur. But I do remember being almost sick with apprehension. The day before, we had been given the latest development reports on our children-to-be. What I zeroed in on was that little Yin Yi Qian (Emma) got very upset when she was around strangers. My new daughter was going to hate me! She had been at the orphanage since she was two days old and had never left the building until she was carried onto a bus on this chilly December day to be driven to a hotel 90 minutes away to be handed to a total stranger who looked and smelled different than anyone she had ever seen before. I was almost in tears thinking about how confused and upset she was going to be. I was just sitting in this room with my sister and niece and 11 other families and thinking to myself what a monumental mistake this had been. I was literally shaking.

But I didn't have much time to fret because our CCAI guide announced the babies were here! And who was the very first baby that was carried in the room...but little Yin Yi Qian! Here is a short slide show of our first moments together. I apologize for the poor quality of the photos. This was before the advent of digital photography and I had to scan these in with my crappy scanner. But anyway...

Here was the moment I was handed my daughter...as you can see, she looks thrilled!


As you can tell, our first few moments were not without a few tears!



Bu then I showed her the little toy I had brought for her...it was a small baby mirror.


I really don't know why I chose this particular toy...but it was a brilliant choice. Who knows if my baby had ever even seen herself in a mirror before? After that, it was the start of a love affair that continues to this day (not between Emma and me...between Emma and the MIRROR!)


After showing her the mirror, there were no more tears from Miss Emma...she was a pretty happy little baby for the rest of our time in the room...


The one thing that I was later a little sad about was that, because Emma was the first baby in the room, I really didn't get to enjoy the rest of our group getting their babies. Of course, we would get to know them over the next two weeks, but I would have liked to have seen the joy of the other families as they saw their babies for the first time.

Anyway, after like 15 minutes, we were told to take the babies back to our rooms and try to wind down a little from all the excitement. When I got Emma to the room, I began taking off her FIVE layers of clothing! No exaggeration. When I finally got her stripped down, it was time to attempt my first diaper change. My niece D.J. watched with much amusement. I'm sure Emma was thinking at this point "who is this idiot and why can't she get a diaper on the first try!"


Then it was time for our first bottle. I have to tell you that during the wait, I spent countless hours researching baby bottles and finally settled on Avent bottles with the disposable liners. The perfect choice. So I mixed up Emma's Chinese formula, which we had bought at the grocery store the night before. I put it in my state-of-the-art bottle and put it in Emma's mouth. "No, I don't think so," she said. Well, she didn't actually SAY it, but she kept pushing the bottle away so I knew that's what she was thinking. I was in a real panic. She was very hungry but she wouldn't let me give her a bottle. Our CCAI rep said some babies only like the bottles they're used to. So my sister Marcia ran across the street to a little store across the street and bought some cheap Chinese bottles. We made cuts in the nipples so the formula would come out easier and - TAH-DAH - I successfully gave Emma her bottle!


And here's a little post-bottle bliss...I think we were starting to bond a little...


This is my favorite picture of the two of us from the entire trip...and it was taken just a few hours after we met...


I have to thank my sister Marcia who did such a good job taking pictures of our trip to China...because my memories of the experience are sometimes blurry, it's so great to see all the photos she took.

Far from being a monumental mistake, choosing adoption was the best decision I have ever made. Has it always been easy? No, of course not. We had a very difficult first month home. The first week back, I was sick with infected tonsils and the remnants of food poisoning that I picked up my last day in China (I spent the entire flight home in the bathroom throwing up.) The first week, we were up all night and slept all day because of the time difference. And even when we got back on schedule, poor Emma suffered through night terrors for a month. She would be fast asleep, but cried and cried. I felt so helpless and was exhausted. Even though I didn't know it at the time, I'm sure I was suffering through some post-adoption depression. But soon Emma started to sleep through the night without crying and I got some sleep and we got through it all.

So I can't believe it's really been four years...how has the time gone by so quickly? It's a cliche, but it really does seem like yesterday. On the other hand, I really have no memory of my life before Emma, so it seems like forever. I love you so much, my little girl...every day, but especially on December 9th!

Xmas photo outtakes

We had Emma's Christmas pictures taken a couple of weeks ago...here are a couple of them we ended up not using for the cards. The resolution isn't very good because they're scanned from proofs. But I thought the photographer did a good job. We've been going to her since Emma was one year old. She's not a great artiste or anything...she's just been taking kids' pictures for more than 20 years and does a nice job of capturing their personalities. We really like her. Anyway, hope you like the photos!

Let's go sledding!

Whenever it snows here, hundreds of kids head to a park charmingly dubbed "Suicide Hill" to go sledding. The park has a frighteningly steep hill that stops just short of a very busy street. Families have been sledding at this park for generations.

So when we got 8 inches of snow Thursday night, my friend Dana and I decided to try to talk our girls into sledding at Suicide Hill. Jia was totally game, but Emma took some convincing. One of the few things that concerns me about Emma is her reluctance to try anything new. She is such a timid child (hopefully this will come in handy down the road when one of her friends pressures her to try cigarettes or drugs.) In the meantime, she often hangs back when it comes to new experiences. But we threw caution to the wind and loaded our sleds in the car and drove over to the park, which was quite the scene.

Much to my surprise, it didn't take much convincing to get Emma on the sled and we were going down the less steep part of the hill in no time!

The girls had an absolute blast and looked so cute on the sled together!

Of course, for the first time,I found out how much work sledding is for PARENTS...I'm the one that had to drag the sled back up the hill time after time - often pulling my 31 pound daughter on it. I'm a little sore this morning, but it was great fun and I'm sure we'll be doing it again soon.

Snow Day

Like a lot of the country, winter weather has hit here with a vengence. We had an ice storm last night and we're supposed to get like a foot of snow this afternoon and this evening. YUCK! I'm not ready for winter. Emma is thrilled, of course, because school was cancelled today because of the ice and, if the forecasters are to be believed, will be closed tomorrow because of heavy snow.

We managed a quick run to Target and McDonald's in between the ice and the snow. And we spent this afternoon decorating the Christmas tree...

It's been a tiring day for both of us and Emma is taking one of her rare naps (that don't involve a moving car) right now. So a little peace and quiet for mom...I think I'll read for awhile and pick up the house a little before the next round of shoveling and entertaining Emma.

Emma and the Big Guy

Wow, I can't believe I went this long without posting anything...I had every intention of checking in while we were on our long Thanksgiving vacation out east, but I guess we were having so much fun, I didn't have time!

Anyway, I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday...we sure did. Emma had so much fun hanging out for a week with her cousins and it was nice to spend time with my parents and my sister and her family. There was plenty of eating and shopping, which is par for the course for our family!

I'm sure the highlight for Emma was going to see Santa at the mall...she went to see Santa for the first time last year, but she was still a little apprehensive when it was our turn. We coaxed her to go up to him while Brennan and D.J. were still visiting and that seemed to break the ice...


Then she had Santa all to herself...


She told me afterwards that she asked Santa for two things that she had failed to mention to me previously. I thought I was done shopping, but I guess not...I have to get her at least one thing she asked Santa for!

Emma and Peter

After school and work today, we went to our favorite children's photographer to get Emma's Christmas pictures taken. While we were there, the photographer asked Emma if she wanted to hold her bunny rabbit (named Peter!) Emma was a little hesitant at first, but then fell totally in love. The photographer took some great pictures of the two of them...I snapped this one while Emma was just getting to know Peter.

Well, I have to get back to packing...we're off tomorrow to spend a week with my sister and her family in Boston. Emma's so excited about seeing her cousins!

Gee, it's FUN being a mom! (WARNING - gross!)

Okay, yesterday was just one of those days. Shortly after we got home from school, Emma told me her tummy hurt. What this normally means is that Emma has a big poop she needs to get rid of. So she sat on the potty and did go. But as she was sitting there, she said her tummy still hurt (I'm sure you can all see where this is going...) So I'm leaning in close to her, trying to see if she has a temperature or anything and -BLEECH - suddenly there's blue vomit all over her, me the floor, the toilet. I guess that fruit punch after school wasn't such a good idea. It was really shocking to me because Emma hadn't thrown up since she was one year old.

Anyway, after like two seconds, Emma looked up and said "it's okay, Mommy, I feel better now." Geez, I would THINK SO! So I stripped all our clothes off, plopped her in the tub and started cleaning up.

It's funny, during the long wait for Emma, one of the (many) things I worried about was how to deal with a sick child. I mean, I would rather see someone get decapitated in a movie than see them throw up! And I just never get sick. But it's weird...when you're a parent, you're more worried about how your child is doing than you are about being soaked with vomit. It's not fun to deal with, but it's not horrible like I thought it would be.

Anyway, it must have been something she ate, because she didn't have a temperature and was asking for dinner an hour later. And she was back in school today, bragging to her little friends about how she barfed all over the bathroom. They were VERY impressed!

Thank goodness that's over for another year...

Emma doesn't have school today and I'm off work for Veteran's Day. Unfortunately, the day has not been all fun...Emma had to get her flu shot this morning. Shortly after getting up, she asked me what we were doing today and I told her we had to go to the doctor and then we were going to spend some time with her friend Helen and her mom. Of course, the first words out of Emma's mouth were "Do I have to get a shot?" I know a lot parents would dodge the question by saying "we'll see" or something. I've done that before. But this time I just said yes. Well, turn on the waterworks! She cried for like 15 minutes, pleading with me not to make her get a shot. I just kept saying it would be over in a second and wouldn't hurt much. Strangely, she stopped crying right before we left, didn't protest on the way to the doctor's office, and didn't shed a single tear while she got the shot. Weird! Anyway, here's a picture of her in the recovery room...

To help her recover from the trauma of this major medical procedure, we went to this big children's indoor play center with Helen and her mom. The girls absolutely LOVE this place! Emma's favorite is the ball pit.

The appeal of the ball pit has always escaped me. I seriously doubt I would love rolling about in a small area filled with hard plastic balls while scores of children hurl themselves and the balls all over the place. But Emma totally digs it. Emma and Helen also enjoyed building a big tower in the contruction room...

As you can see, they toiled away on their building project AFTER they visited the face painting room.

Emma totally conked out in the car on the way home. I carried her from the car into the house and just plopped in the easy chair and let her sleep. I don't care how long you have your kids or how old they get, there's something so incredible when they're sleeping in your lap. I'll never get tired of that.

Family FotoFun Friday challenge

Donna's FFFF challenge this weeks is HATS! This is one of my favorite pictures of Emma. She has on a cheesy Burger King crown instead of a hat...but it's on her head and she still looks cute to me!

The most exciting weekend of all time

Of course, that's not entirely true. Okay, it's not even remotely true. But we did have a little fun this past weekend. On Saturday, we went to the playground with our friends Mary and Helen. Despite a rivalry that mirrors that of the Red Sox and Yankees, Emma and Helen always seem to have a great time together...

On Sunday, after church and a swanky lunch at McDonalds, Emma and I tried to make a dent in the carpet of leaves in our yard. Emma was actually a big help raking the leaves (hey, it's never too early to put them to work...that's my philosophy!)

It is so depressing to me to spend an afternoon raking and bagging leaves (one of my LEAST favorite chores) and then look outside two hours later and see your yard covered with leaves again. I should just hire someone to do it, but I'm too cheap.

P.S. in the background of the photo of Emma raking, you can see where our garage used to be...they poured the concrete last week and as soon as it solidifies, they'll start building the garage. It's not too soon for me...my poor mini-van is not used to being exposed to the elements!

Four years ago today...

...I was pacing up and down the hall at work like a caged tiger. No, not because it was Election Day, although it was, and I had already voted, but I couldn't care less. Because I knew this was the day I was going to get the call that would change my life. My DTC date was September 24, 2001 and I had been waiting more than 13 months for my referral. The referrals for October were almost two weeks late coming out at this point. There were reports that the referrals were late because September AND October were going to get their referrals this time (boy, those were the days!) That ended up not being the case and the October people would have to wait another few weeks. But barring some catastrophe, I knew I was in this batch. I was still worried though. A year before, my friend Dana was supposed to get her referral and the CCAA had mistakenly included hers with another agency's packet of referrals. That agency couldn't just forward it to her...it had to go back to the CCAA and then to her and it was another three weeks before she got it. So in the back of my mind, I knew there could be a screw-up of some kind.

It was late morning and I was checking the September2001DTC CCAI yahoo group like every 30 seconds. Finally, the first referrals appeared - they were calling people! I ran out to the front desk and told our office coordinator (and my friend) Valerie that the referrals were coming and that if anyone called for me, she needed to ask who it was so I'd be ready. I can still remember how the anticipation was almost dizzingly unbearable.

A bit later, I was walking back to my office talking to my friend Kerry when Val ran toward us. "Your agency's on the phone!!!" Val and Kerry asked if they could stay and we went in my office and closed the door. I took a deep breath and in this embarrassingly shaky voice, I said "This is Donna." The woman on the other end of the line laughed. "Don't be nervous...this is Elaine at CCAI and I'm looking at a picture of your beautiful daughter!" Relief flooded over me...there was no mix-up or lost dossier...I was a mom!

I tried to concentrate as Elaine gave me the details...her name was Yin Yi Qian...she was born on February 24, 2002 (just over 8 months old and the same birthday as my niece D.J. who was traveling with us to China!)...she was at Yiyang SWI in Hunan Province...at 6 months old, she was 13 pounds and 25 inches. I tried to ask a couple questions that she didn't know the answer to, but I wasn't really into asking questions at that point. She said she was emailing me my daughter's photo as we spoke and I would get more details and pictures via Fed Ex tomorrow.

I hung up the phone and Val and Kerry hugged me and congratulated me. Then I turned to my computer to see if I had gotten an email from CCAI yet...it was there. I looked at my friends and said "we're going to see Emma for the first time." I have to be totally honest here...I had tried to steel myself and my family and friends for the reality that the referral picture might not be great and that Emma may not look all that cute in it. I mean, they don't call them mug shots for nothing. I admit there were times over the previous year that I would see someone's referral photo and think "Oh, that's too bad." I mean, you knew the baby was going to be adorable once they saw her...but often those pictures are not so adorable. So I had tried to tell myself that just because the referral picture wasn't lovely, that didn't mean my daugher wasn't lovely. As it turned out, I needn't have worried myself, because when I clicked on the photo attached to the email, I was about to lay eyes on what was, and remains to this day,

the

most

beautiful

face

I

had

ever

seen

in

my

entire

life


About three seconds after the picture came up on the screen, complete anarchy broke out. I burst into tears, Kerry started screaming and Val ran out into the hallway yelling to everyone "DONNA JUST GOT HER REFERRAL!!!" Soon there were like ten people in my office, looking at the picture and hugging me. It was so unbelievable.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur of phone calls to family and friends and hours of staring at that picture. I can say with all honesty that getting that call and seeing my daughter's picture for the first time was the most incredible moment of my life. I think I lot of people would wonder why actually getting her in China wasn't the most incredible moment. I think that's because I was so nervous and apprehensive on the day I got Emma, I was almost sick. I remember almost nothing of gotcha day. If my sister hadn't recorded every second of that day on a camcorder, I would probably have no memory of it at all. It was that surreal.

But I remember in great detail almost every second of referral day...it remains the single greatest day of my life. I didn't know it at the time I got that call, but exactly four weeks to the day, I would be on my way to China to get Emma. And my life would change forever...

Am I too strict here?

Emma was playing with her state-of-the-art Disney Princess cell phone last night. She was having an imaginary conversation with her "boyfriend" Rashaan. Rashaan is a really cute 6-year-old boy at her school (Emma has always preferred older men.) Anyway, when she finished with her pretend phone call, she told me that Rashaan had called because he wanted to go out on a date with her.

WHAT...ARE YOU INSANE???!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU KNEW WHAT A DATE WAS! YOU WILL NOT BE DATING TEN YEARS FROM NOW, MISSY, LET ALONE WHEN YOU ARE FOUR YEARS OLD! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU ARE 18!

Okay, that's what I wanted to say, but I refrained. I told her I thought maybe she was just a little too young to go out on a date. But I asked her where she and Rashaan would go on a date. She thought for a moment and said brightly "Maybe you could take us to the playground and to Chucky Cheese!"

Frankly, that sounds better than some of the dates I've been on...I won't bore you with the details of the time a guy took me out to an elegant dinner at Long John Silver's on our first (and only) date. I swear, that hush puppy is still lodged in my colon somewhere.

Anyway, call me Mommie Dearest, but I don't think I'll let Emma start dating quite yet. It's really freaky how soon kids today start thinking about stuff like that, though...

Trick-or-treat!

We got back a little while ago from a strenuous night of trick-or-treating. We went with our friends Dana and Jia. It was a little chilly, but the girls had a blast and would probably still be out there if the moms hadn't finally called it a night. Here's a picture of Jia and Emma (aka Mulan and Ariel the Bride....)

And here's Emma with some of her haul (notice her rosy cheeks from being out in the cold!)

I'm sitting here eating one of her many Kit Kat bars...I'm sure she'll notice tomorrow that it's missing. The last thing she said when I tucked her in tonight was "DON'T EAT ANY OF MY CANDY!!!" Geez, am I that transparent?!

Anyway, I hope your Halloween was happy too!

Another birthday

We had a fantastic weekend. Saturday was my birthday (I know, at my age, big deal!) and we met my parents in St. Louis to celebrate. Man, it was cool being in St. Louis the day after the Cards clinched the World Series. We are big-time Cardinals fans, so we were thrilled!

Anyway, the weather was great, we spent most of the time doing our two favorite things - eating and shopping. I didn't take many pictures, but I did snap this one of Emma and my mom, or as Emma calls her, "Biggie" (don't ask!)


We had a super time, but were kind of tired and cranky when we got home early Sunday evening.

When we drove up, we discovered that our garage had been torn down the previous day...don't worry, it was supposed to be torn down this week because we're building a new one. We just didn't expect it to happen over the weekend. I guess contractors show up when the inspiration strikes them. Apparently they were VERY enthusiastic when they began pulling it down...according to my neighbor, they also pulled down a power line and cut off electricity to the whole block. Anyway, I hope to be able to post some pics of our new garage soon. It's supposed to take 5-6 weeks to build, but who knows?

Kids in shades

Donna over at the always entertaining Double Happiness blog has a weekly photo challenge. This week, she asked us to post photos of our children in glasses (sun or otherwise.) I have some recent pics of Emma in her shades, but I thought I'd post a funny photo I took of her when she was about 15 months old. Even at that age, she was such a clown!

SWEET!

Back to school

Today was "bring your parent to school" day at Emma's school. So I spent the morning watching Emma and her classmates do their lessons, go to gym class and eat lunch in the cafeteria (the less said about that, the better - YUCK!) It was fun spending the day with her at school and observing her with her friends and teacher. Here's a picture of her with her best school friend Jasmine...

When I put her to bed tonight, Emma asked me if I'd be going to school with her again tomorrow. I told her I couldn't, but I'd come and visit at the next parent day. I did have a good time, but after 12 years of school, four years of college and two years of post-graduate work, I've probably had enough of going to school (except for visiting Emma's!)

The ducky park

This weather this past weekend was not great...as a matter of fact, it totally blew. Cold, windy and rainy for two straight days. On Sunday, when there was a brief reprieve from the rain, we dashed out to our favorite park to get some fresh (and cold) air. The park has a big lake that has become home to about a hundred ducks and several cantankerous Canadian geese. Emma loves to feed the ducks (the geese...not so much!) So we brought some bread to feed them...

I think we lasted about 30 minutes at the park...Emma didn't even want to go to the playground because it was so cold. Let's hope we haven't jumped right from summer to winter already!

Even after four years...

there's nothing more beautiful to me than my baby girl sleeping peacefully.

Princess Potatohead and Billy Monster

This will come as a great shock to many people, but I'm not very crafty (see October 11 post.) So I'm not one of those people who would or could spend an afternoon carving an elaborate pumpkin. It's just not my skill set. Emma and I got a couple of pumpkins from the pumpkin patch and decorated them this morning. We used Mrs. Potato Head things to make a princess pumpkin and then this other pumpkin decorating kit to make Billy Monster (Emma named them.)

They're not as cool as carved pumpkins...that's for sure. But they're pretty cute and Emma loved decorating them.

Our day at the pumpkin patch

More than two years ago, our best friends moved to Tennessee. Dana was my closest friend and her daugher Jia, who is a year older than Emma, was her best buddy. Although we have been in constant touch via email and the phone, and we've seen them a few times since they moved, it was still a tremendous adjustment for us when they left.

Last week, Dana and Jia moved back here. We were so happy when we found out they were returning. But I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive. Would things be the same? Emma and I had made other friends and I was worried that the girls wouldn't be as close. Kids change a lot and you can't force friendships.

Well, I'm happy to report that it's almost as though they never left. We spent most of yesterday together and it was so fun! We went to a local farmstead, which had a big pumpkin patch with all kinds of activities for children. Emma and Jia ran all over the place, hand in hand. It was so adorable! Here are a couple pics...



It was such a lovely fall afternoon and we had a blast. Today, it's supposed to rain all day, so I guess I will be forced to clean up my cluttered house. That's what rainy days are for...

Calling Martha Stewart!

We've got some really nice neighbors next door...these two gay men who are really delightful (even more so after they took out their swimming pool and stopped having late-night pool parties!) Anyway, they always really knock themselves out when it comes to decorating the outside of their house for holidays. Their Christmas decorations are amazing, although they did have one of those huge inflatable snow globe things last year that I think are pretty tacky. So this year, they have a whole new Halloween decor, with orange and white blinking lights and scarecrows and pumpkins and ghosts and witches. Pretty spectacular.

So Emma and I were outside last night taking in the whole thing. She turned to me and said "Momma, I wish you were more talented so we could have a cool yard like this." I just cracked up (a) because it's true and (b) my daughter's "tell it like it is" personality is pretty hysterical (at least at this point.)

Even though I thought it was funny, I was embarrassed enough to make a run to Michael's over my lunch hour to pick up some Halloween-type decorations. Emma and I put them up after school. So here's my pathetic attempt at decorating for the holiday...

It's so sad, I know...but Emma thinks it's stupendous and that's all that matters to me!

Oh #@*%!

Yesterday I had to take something back to a friend's house that I had borrowed for the Moon Festival. I had only been to her house once and thought I knew exactly where it was so I didn't even bother writing down the address. But we found ourselves driving up and down the street trying to find a house that looked familiar. As we were crawling up the street once again, here's how the conversation went:

Me: Emma, I don't think I can find the house.
Emma: Oh DAMN!
Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY????!!!!!
Emma: Uh, nothing.

I should say at this point that I don't use profanity. It's not a big moral thing with me, it's just not my style. I guess if I dropped a safe on my foot or something, it's possible some expletive would escape my lips. But my point is, I knew Emma didn't hear this word from me. Now back to our story...

Me: Emma, where did you hear that word?
Emma: (silence)
Me: Did you hear it from someone at school?
Emma: Yes.
Me: Who was it?
Emma: (starts crying)
Me: Sweetie, it's okay...I just want to know who said that word to you.
Emma: But if I tell you, then you'll call their mom and they'll get in trouble!

Sigh...smart girl. I guess I should be happy that she's so empathetic AND that she did use the word in perfect context. So I just told her that she should NEVER use that word or other swear words because people will think she's not a very nice girl (and she is a very nice girl.)

Maybe I should send her to Catholic school...I'm sure no one swears there.

Moon Festival

Saturday was our local FCC chapter's annual Moon Festival. It was such a beautiful day...sunny and in the low 80s. Not particularly autumnal, but a great day for a cookout. It was a long day for us because I'm on the FCC board here, so we got there early to help set up and stayed late to clean up. But it was a lot of fun...Emma has made a lot of friends through our involvement with this group. Anyway...here are some pictures:

This is Emma with little Ella. When Ella's parents got home from China with her, I couldn't believe how much she looked like Emma when she was a baby. It was astounding. They don't look as much alike now, but Emma treats Ella like a little sister and they were almost inseparable last night.

This is Emma with her friends Amy and Mer. When we passed out glow sticks to the kids after dark, the three of them ran all over the park like maniacs chasing each other. It was pretty funny.

And here's Emma working hard on decorating her Chinese lantern. If you call "working hard" coloring the entire thing purple with a magic marker. I guess she was going for a cleaner look than some of the other kids.

Anyway, we had a fantastic time, although we were exhausted when we got home last night. I think today is definitely going to be a lazy Sunday.

Here comes the bride...

Okay...so sue me! I went ahead and gave Emma the Ariel wedding dress I got for free at Target (see last post.) I couldn't help it...I knew how much she'd love it. I was right!

When I saw this picture, I got kind of emotional, because I started wondering if I would ever see my little girl get married. When your in your forties and you've got a young child, you really worry about missing these things. Then I started fretting about who would walk Emma down the aisle, since she doesn't have a father. Sometimes it just breaks my heart that she doesn't have a dad. Although she seemed pretty preoccupied about not having a father early on (much more than being adopted really), she seems to have moved on from that. But I still think about it a lot. She's such a wonderful child that she deserves a mom and a dad (and brothers and sisters and a dog and a bunch of other things she doesn't have right now either.) I know I'm a pretty good mom (better than I ever thought I would be.) I just wonder sometimes if that's enough.

The Little Mermaid is here!

This is a very exciting day in our household...The Little Mermaid is finally out on DVD! Emma loves Ariel, but the only copy of The Little Mermaid we have is a pretty much unplayable VHS tape. So we've been looking forward to the day the Disney special edition DVD comes out.

While I'm on the subject, I think this Disney policy of releasing the classic animated films on DVD like once every ten years and then "putting them in the vault" is insane. I think Disney must be a secret partner in Ebay or something, because the only way you can get a DVD of Snow White, for example, is by paying $80 for it on Ebay. It's not that big of a deal, except that you're going to have whole generations of little girls who will never really get to see certain Disney classics because they aren't available when they are at the age that those movies are most appealing (anti-Disney rant concluded...)

Anyway, back to The Little Mermaid...I ran over to Target on my lunch hour to pick up a copy. I was soooo excited because Target had this promotion where if you bought the DVD and the Ariel/Prince Eric wedding doll set, you got the Ariel wedding dress costume for free (a $24.95 value!) The doll set is on Emma's (extremely long and still growing) Christmas list, so for about $35, I got the DVD, the doll set and this beautiful Ariel wedding dress costume. It was pretty funny, because while I was in the toy section picking this stuff up, a middle-aged man in a business suit was wandering around looking really confused. He had obviously been sent there on his lunch hour by his wife to buy the same stuff. Poor guy, I finally asked if I could help him out, and showed him where everything was (they didn't have it all in one place, which made it a little challenging - not for an experienced shopper like myself, of course!) He was really grateful...

My only dilemma is that if I show Emma the Ariel wedding dress, I most likely can forget about her wearing the Lilo Halloween costume I just spent $30 on. Oh well, we'll see...I'm not sure what I'll do. I guess she'll be a cute Lilo or a cute Ariel!

Sleepover post mortem

Well, we both passed our first sleepover with flying colors. I dropped Emma off at Lola's house after dinner on Friday night. I took a couple pictures of Emma and Lola to mark this big occasion, before Emma literally PUSHED me out the door!


I was actually a little weepy in the car when I left. But I decided that since I didn't have a child in tow, I would run over to Toys R Us to get in some early Christmas shopping (they were having a Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale on Polly Pockets, one of Emma's toys of choice right now.) I went home, watched a grown-up movie (In Her Shoes - loved it!) Read for awhile and went to bed. I slept so well and didn't get up until 7!

What was weird was getting up in the morning and having no kid there...no little girl to make breakfast for and to help get dressed and to color with or play a game with. Very eerie. So I entertained myself by mowing the lawn, doing laundry and taking the car through the car wash (which Emma hates!)

I went to pick up Emma around noon. She was happy to see me (what a relief) but she had a great time and managed just fine. So we made it through our first night apart...

Emma's first sleepover

Emma is going to her first sleepover tonight. Her friend Lola is having a birthday party tomorrow and her mom said she could invite one friend to stay all night tonight. So she invited Emma, who is VERY excited.

This is a pretty big deal to her, but even more so, for me. I have not been apart from my little girl for a single night since she was placed in my arms on December 9, 2002. It's going to be so weird not having her there tonight. I figure I'll either sleep like a log because I'm not subconsciously waiting to hear her call out to me. Or I won't sleep well at all because I know she's not sleeping peacefully in the next room.

This may be the first sleepover where the MOM calls and asks to bring the child home! I'm just kidding, but it is kind of a monumental event for us. I'm kind of teary thinking about how grown-up my baby is now!

It must have been a long day at school...

...because this is what happened on the way home!

Poor gal!

Halloween preview

When I asked Emma a few weeks ago what she wanted to be for Halloween, I expected the usual answer...one of the Disney princesses (last year, it was Cinderella, the year before it was Belle.) But much to my surprise, she said she wanted to be Lilo (from Lilo and Stitch.) I admit it, I have princess fatigue, so I was happy to hear this. Lilo is still Disney, but at least she's not a princess.

Anyway, Disney online has been having a great sale on Halloween costumes, so I ordered her Lilo costume a week or so ago. It came today and Emma wanted to try it on immediately. I know I'm biased, but I think she makes a pretty cute Lilo!


Of course, the danger of getting a Halloween costume too early is that she'll waver later and decide that she does, indeed, want to be Sleeping Beauty or Ariel. But I told her when I ordered it that she was going to be Lilo for Halloween and no changing her mind later. So far, she seems happy with her choice!

Grace

So here's what Emma said when I asked her to say grace before dinner last night:

Dear God,
Thank you for our food. I promise to eat as much as I possibly can. Amen

No doubt about it...she's my kid!

Le art fair

Every fall, the city we live in has a huge art fair that draws artists from all over the country. Today, Emma and I skipped church (BAD MOMMY!) to get to the fair early (I hope God understands how bad the parking can get if you wait until the afternoon to go!) Anyway, we wandered around, saw some fantastic art that I couldn't afford, and spent the bulk of our time in the children's art area. I took a few pictures of our girl creating her own masterpieces.


If you look closely at the first picture, you might be able to see that Emma is still having a bit of difficulty with her name. About half the time, she writes it backwards, which is perfectly natural if you're a little kid who's left-handed. The intuitive way for her to write is from right to left, just like it's from left to right for right-handers. We're working on it, but she still tends to want to write it the way it feels more natural.

The littlest scrapbooker

Emma has spent a lot of time watching me work on scrapbooks (although not much lately - I've really fallen behind.) A couple months ago, she asked me if she could do a scrapbook, so I bought her an inexpensive one and have let her use some of my supplies to make her own pages. Today after school, she wanted to work on her scrapbook, so I dragged everything out and let her go at it.


This is one of the pages she did today:


Okay, so a couple of the stickers are upside down and there really was no reason for the "Happy Birthday" or "Girlfriends" stickers on it. But for a four-year-old, it's not bad. It's better than some of my earlier attempts!

BTW, the photo she used in her scrapbook picture was taken when she got into grandma's make-up drawer...it's pretty hilarious!

Hopscotch queen

Emma LOVES to play hopscotch...at school and at home. She got a Disney Princess hopscotch set for Christmas and I've finally given up on ever putting it away. We play almost every night. I tried to take some pictures of her in action...they're not very good, but it gives you an idea...


I love this one because her hair is all poofed up!

I'm sure you're dying to know how well I play hopscotch these days. Well, let's just say I'm pretty good at throwing the little plastic hearts on the right squares...but gracefully hopping on one foot...those days are well behind me!

The L-O-N-G night

Well, I'm a total zombie today after a semi-sleepless night. I put Emma to bed a little after 8 and she fell right asleep. I went to bed at 10 after watching that new Studio 60 show. At around 11:30, I awoke when I heard Emma coughing really bad (her allergies are acting up big-time.) So I woke her up and gave her some Zyrtec. Went back to bed. Fell asleep finally. At 2:00 am, I hear Emma crying. I go in her room and ask her what's wrong. She thinks she sees a monster with scary eyes - our very first monster citing. I move some stuff around in her room so the monster goes away and she falls asleep quickly. Back to bed...takes 30 minutes to fall asleep again. 4 am...Emma calling out to me again. I go in her room and she's crying because she had wet the bed for the first time in I don't know how long. I take her wet jammies off, put her in my bed, strip her bed. Go to my room where she's already asleep and has positioned herself at a precise angle where there's no way I can lay down on my bed. End up trying to sleep on the sofa, to no avail, and finally just got up and read until 6 am. When Emma woke up, she wanted to know why she was in my bed - doesn't remember any of it!

Well, I'm sure one of us will have a good day!

Return of the heat

We've had a nice couple of weeks with cooler, almost fall-like weather. But this week, the temperatures starting edging up and it was 90+ today. So, of course, we went to the zoo, as we usually do when it's unbearably hot!

Actually, it was an outing with our local FCC chapter (of which I am a proud board member.) A bunch of families with kids from China met up and walked around the zoo, looking at the animals and riding the ponies. It was fun, but really draining because it was so friggin' hot. I only took a couple pictures...here's one with Emma and her friend Mer squinting into the sun...


Hopefully it won't be as hot tomorrow because we're supposed to go to this local street fair/carnival thing...it's not a huge production, but Emma like to go because they have REAL cotton candy (not that dreck that comes pre-packaged in plastic bags.) My girl knows her cotton candy!

My daughter, the comedian

I've been so fortunate to have a daughter who possesses many endearing qualities, the most important of which is a great sense of humor (in my book, anyway.) Even at 8 months old, she loved to make people laugh. We would say "make a funny face, Emma" and she would roll her eyes or stick out her tongue. It was hilarious.

Well, now Emma has discovered the concept of jokes. Her favorites are knock-knock jokes. Here is a typical example:

Emma: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Emma: Boo!
Me: Boo who?
Emma: Boo carrot! GET IT? (peals of laughter ensue from both of us)

I guess someday she'll learn to tell real jokes. But her made-up jokes are pretty funny to me in the meantime...

Our boring world

Emma has discovered the word "boring." Suddenly, everything in our lives is "boring"...from the park we're playing in, to the tv show we're watching, to the clothes I've laid out for her. Last night, after Emma pronounced that the dinner I'd made was boring, I snapped "you know what's really boring is hearing you say the word boring every five seconds!" Yes, I'm the mature one in this relationship. Needless to say, I didn't hear the word "boring" the rest of the evening. But I'm sure its return is imminent.

Emma's menagerie

There are a lot of little kids who like to sleep with one or two of their favorite stuffed animals...Emma is not one of those kids. She is currently sleeping with like 10 of her animals and the bed is getting a little crowded. She has a big Clifford dog, a Bambi, Lady (from Lady and the Tramp), Roo (from Winnie the Pooh), some big pink Disney cat, another little cat and about 5 horses of various sizes. Every night she has to arrange them just so before she lays down to sleep. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to get her a king-size bed!

More of the greatest inventions of all time

Every once in awhile, I stumble onto something that totally rocks our world. This week that happened...

A little history...about a year ago, my VCR went kaput and I've never bothered to get another one. We don't watch a tremendous amount of TV and I figured the VCR is pretty close to being an obsolete technology, so why bother? The problem has been that I haven't been able to record any programs for the past year. There are a couple of shows, like "24", that I would like to watch but miss because that is bath and story time for Emma. Plus, there have been a few kid's shows that I know Emma would like to see, but they're on during the day while she's at school.

So last week, kind of on an impulse, I called the local cable company to ask about their DVR service. The next day, they came to the house, hooked up a new box and - TA-DAH - we now have DVR, which is just like Tivo, without the $14.95 a month charge (DVR costs $5 a month.)

I know the novelty will wear off, but I am so totally in love with this thing! It's so easy to use. When I got it, I set it up to record any airing of "Go Diego Go" and "Wonder Pets", two shows Emma loves but can't see because they're on weekday afternoons. And I have recorded "When the Levee Breaks", the new Spike Lee HBO doc on Hurricane Katrina. The other cool thing is that if you come in and turn on a show halfway through, you can send it back to the beginning. Or you can pause it even though it's live TV. Totally cool.

I was a little worried that getting something like this would make us watch more TV than we should. But I think it's made us even more selective. We're only watching what we want, and haven't been turning on the TV and channel-surfing to whatever might be on, even if we're not wild about it.

I'm sure people who have Tivo or DVR are rolling their eyes at my enthusiasm. But it's new and fun and I love it.